Let's Be Defenseless
by Timetodance0110
Summary: In a few days, Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks are getting married. But Harry can see that something is bothering Remus. So one night, he follows Remus, and finds out that he is still in love with someone else.


In a few days, Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks are getting married, and they will be having a small ceremony to celebrate it with some friends. Their friends, the Weasleys, Hermione, and of course Harry have come over for the ceremony. Unfortunately their friends from The Order couldn't make it, and neither could their other friends. They are all too busy with the war that is going on. But still Remus and Tonks decided to have a small ceremony, nearby their cabin in the woods. Which is also the place where they are now all staying.

When Harry and Hermione had arrived together, they had wanted to leave, and go find a hotel, or a B&B, because how could they all possible be staying in that place? It's tiny. But when Remus had opened the door, and they had looked into the cabin, they had understood. It had only seemed tiny on the outside, but really, it had been quite a lot bigger on the outside. Not much, but just big enough for them all to stay there, without all being in each other's space all the time.

They have been staying here for a couple of days now, and the day of the wedding is coming closer and closer. The women are all getting really excited, and whenever they enter a room, usually talking about dresses, or flowers, the men tend to leave the room, or, what also works, Harry has found out, is to pretend to be reading a book. It doesn't matter that you normally never read, or that you don't even turn a page, ever, they don't even notice it. But when you do this, they won't try and include you into the conversation. Harry and Ron had stayed in the room, without a book or any other distraction on the second day, but they won't be making that mistake again. It had taken at least forty-five minutes before they could get away from the conversation about a particular type of flowers. And even then, they could only get away because Arthur had called them over from the other room.

But where the women are getting more excited, Remus seems to be getting more anxious. The guys are all making jokes about it, cold feet and everything. But Harry can see that something is bothering him. Which in turn, is bothering him.

"What if something is really wrong?" Harry asks, that night, when they have all gone to bed. Ron and he are on the pull-out beds in the living room, and they are supposed to be trying to sleep.

"Then ask him."

"I can't," Harry says, and Ron sighs. "What if I'm wrong?"

"Well, then you're wrong. So what? Then at least you know."

"But if something is wrong, then he's not going to tell me, is he?" Harry asks, and Ron sits up, looking irritated.

"Look, just go bloody ask him. And let me go to sleep, will you?"

"Fine," Harry says, and Ron lies back down, and turns away. Harry sighs, and gets up. He quietly gets out of the living room, into the kitchen, where he gets a glass of water. He wants to drink it, go back to bed, and ask Remus in the morning. But when he hears the door opening and closing, he quickly runs back into the living room, grabs his wand, and follows whoever had left the cabin. When he catches up, still trying to be as quiet as possible, he sees that it is Remus. He is wearing his normal clothes, not his pyjamas, which he was wearing when Harry had last seen him, when he had said goodnight to them all. So he must have gotten changed. This must have been planned. What if he is running away? Harry follows him, until he finally stops, and Harry hides behind a tree, making sure that he can still see him. Remus kneels down in front of a stone. But it isn't just any stone, it's like a stone that you would see at a grave, except for that it has no writing on it. Remus puts his hand on the stone, and Harry can see that he is shaking, as if he is crying. His mouth is moving, and Harry can only make out a few words. So he tries to be as quiet as possible, and moves even closer. He can now see Remus' face, and he sees the tears rolling down his face, his hand still touching the stone.

"I am so sorry," he says, his voice also shaking. "I know that I promised, and I am trying, but…" Harry steps on a twig, and it snaps. Remus turns around, but when he hears nothing more, and he sees no one, he turns back, to face the blank stone again. "I miss you so much. I cannot stop loving you," he says, and he closes his eyes. He takes his wand from out of his jacket, and creates one single flower. But it is the most beautiful flower Harry has ever seen, and when he looks at it, his heart skips a beat, his heart starts fluttering, and he gets goose bumps. He has never felt like this before, he has never felt so much love. Remus leans over to the stone, whispers a few more words, gets back up, and leaves. Harry follows him back to the cabin, and when he goes into the living room, he wakes up Ron, to tell him what he saw.

"What?" Ron asks, still half asleep.

"After you told me to go ask professor Lupin himself, I went to the kitchen, and I heard the door," Harry begins his story, but then he sees Ron's head falling back, and he knows that he is already asleep again. He can't help but smile, and he lies down as well. He closes his eyes, and tries to go to sleep. But he can't stop thinking about what he has just seen, about the stone, about the flower, about whose grave it must be.

After they have all had breakfast together the next day, they all go to do their own thing. Arthur Weasley is reading a letter from work, when Harry sits down next to him.

"Yes?" Arthur asks, putting down the letter.

"I was wondering if you can help me. Do you know anything about a grave, out there, in the woods?"

"Ah, yes, I do actually. It's not actually a grave, though. But after Sirius died, Remus put up a stone for him. Just a blank stone though, but to his friends, it is like a grave, yes."

"No, it can't be Sirius'. Was professor Lupin ever married? Before, I mean," Harry asks, and Arthur raises an eyebrow.

"What is with all the questions? What do you know about the stone? Have you seen something?"

"I followed professor Lupin last night, and he went there, but it wasn't Sirius. It was someone he was in love with."

"Ah, I see. Well, you'll have to ask Remus about that himself. I'm afraid I can't help you," Arthur says, and he picks up his letter again, and continues reading. Harry sighs, and goes to the living room. But when he sees the women sitting there, he quickly goes back into the kitchen. He grabs his wand, just in case, and leaves the cabin. He sees Ron and Hermione disappearing into the woods together, and he feels a sting of loneliness, but he ignores it. He goes to the other side of the cabin, and finds Remus sitting there, staring out over the lake.  
"Do you mind if I join you?"

"Sit down," Remus says, and Harry does as he is told. He wants to ask Remus about what he saw last night, but he feels uncomfortable, so a long silence follows, until Remus finally breaks it.

"Do you miss him much?"

"Who, sir?"

"Sirius."

"Yes, of course," Harry says. "Every day."

"So do I. He was a great man, Harry."

"Yes, yes he was," Harry says, and a silence follows again, as they both stare out at the lake. But then Harry takes a deep breath, and he blurts out what is playing on his mind.

"I ehm, I followed you, last night. To the stone, the grave I mean. And I saw the flower, but I don't understand."

"You followed me?"

"Yes, I was scared that something was wrong. I am sorry."

"That's fine," Remus says, and he lets out a big sigh, and then looks straight at him. "What did you hear me say?"

"Just that you promised something, and you tried. And you couldn't stop loving them. But I couldn't hear more than that, I promise."

"Ah, I see… Harry, what do you know about the grave?"

"Nothing. I asked mr. Weasley about it, but he only knew about Sirius' grave. He knew nothing about another grave," Harry says, and Remus nods, and looks back at the lake.

"He knows nothing about another grave, because there is no other grave."

"I'm afraid I don't understand, sir."

"That was, if we can call it that, Sirius' grave," Remus says, and he looks back at Harry, who is still looking confused.

"But you said…"

"Yes, yes I did," Remus says, and that's when it clicks in Harry's head.

"Oh… so you and him…"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"Shocked?" Remus asks, and Harry nods. Remus can't help but smile, as he takes a small item out of his jacket. "Recognise this?" he asks, and he opens his hand, showing a ring. Harry immediately recognises it as Sirius' ring.

"Of course, but wasn't he wearing it, when he died?"

"He was, he probably still is, wherever he is. This one is mine, though," Remus says, and he puts the ring on. It starts glowing, white at first, then dark red, then the light dies.

"A magical wedding ring?" Harry asks, and Remus nods, still smiling, but there's nothing but sadness in his eyes.

"As you must know, the white light shows that our love, our promise has never been broken, that it still stands, and the red… well, you know."

"That your heart is bleeding for the other," Harry says, and Remus nods. "When did you get married? Why didn't he ever tell me? Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"We got married just after we got out of Hogwarts. We wanted to tell you, but… You have to understand, Harry, that we hadn't seen each other for twelve years, and then when he got out of Azkaban, he had you to think about. He didn't want me to be an issue."

"It wouldn't have been an issue," Harry quickly says, and Remus can't help but smile.

"He just wanted us to be in the background, and to focus on you, on protecting you. That was what mattered to him most. And before we went there, to fight, he made me promise that I would protect you, no matter what. So when he died, and I held you back, that was me keeping my promise. I wanted to get revenge, more than anything, but I had to protect you."

"What about Tonks, does she know?"

"She knows that we were married. She doesn't know that I visit him every night, and that, well, you saw the ring," Remus says, a shy smile on his face.

"Then why are you marrying her?"

"Because I love her very much, Harry. Just not…"

"as much as Sirius," Harry interrupts him. "That's not fair on her, is it?"

"Like I said, I love her very much. More than most people love each other. Truly."

"I still don't understand. Last night, you were talking about a promise, you were trying to keep it. Was that about protecting me?"

"No, a different promise," Remus says. "A more difficult one. We once made a promise to each other, that if one of us were to die, the other would have to move on, find someone new, be happy. Live life to the fullest."

"But you're still in love with him?"

"Yes, and I always will be. I strongly believe that we all have a soul mate out there, or 'the one' as some call it. And Sirius was mine."

"Wow," Harry says, and Remus can't help but laugh.

"But I have kept my promise. However, I can't help but feel that if he were here today, he would bite my head off for marrying his cousin."

"It is a bit awkward."

"It is, isn't it," Remus laughs, and Harry can't help but smile. But then he remembers the flower, and how he had felt when he looked at it.

"But I still don't understand, what about the flower. That wasn't a normal flower, was it?"

"It wasn't. On the first night I went to his grave, I broke down, and I wanted to get rid of all my love for him. So I put it all in the heart of the flower, and left it there. But of course you can't get rid of those feelings, you can merely make a weak copy of them. But when I came back the next day, the flower was gone. So I keep making them, hoping that it was Sirius who kept taking the flowers. Silly, I know."

"So the flower was only a weak copy of how you feel about Sirius?" Harry asks, and Remus looks at him, slightly smiling.

"A weak copy at the heart, very weak at the outside of the flower. Why?"

"Because when I looked at it, I felt… I don't know, I felt so much love. It was so strong, I have never felt anything like it before. And if that is a very weak copy, then I can't imagine you must truly feel."

"Well…," Remus says, but he doesn't quite know what to say to that.

"Sirius was a very lucky man."

"Thank you."

"And I will be calling you my uncle from now on, if you don't mind?" Harry asks, and Remus can't help but get a proud smile on his face.

"Uncle Remus… I quite like the sound of that," he says, and he lets out a sigh. "Do you think he would be okay with the wedding?"

"Yes, I'm sure he loved you just as much as you love him, or he wouldn't have made you make that promise."

"Yes, well… if all hell breaks loose at the wedding, then we'll know, won't we?" Remus asks, and they both laugh. "We better be getting back," he then says, and they get up. "Ah, I better take this off first," he says, and he takes off his wedding ring, which glows white, and then dark red.

"Can I give you a hug?" Harry asks, and without answering, Remus wraps his arms around him.

"You meant the absolute world to him, Harry."

"Really?"

"Truly," Remus says, and he lets go of him. "Truly," he repeats, and the two of them go back to the cabin, where an owl has just flown in to deliver a package.

"Ah, that will be your present," Tonks says, looking at Remus, as she grabs the package, and she peeks into it, making sure that no one sees what it is.

"Didn't you already get him something, you know, the…," Ginny begins, but then she stops herself.

"Maybe," Tonks says, and she takes the package, and goes to her and Remus' bedroom to hide it. Harry looks over at his new uncle, and sees him smiling. But the sadness is still in his eyes.

It's the night before the wedding, and everyone is asleep, except for Harry, and Remus. When Remus is just about to leave, Harry joins him.

"What are you doing?"

"Can I come?"

"Are you sure?" Remus asks, and Harry nods, clutching his wand tightly to his chest. "There's no need for that."

"Oh, okay," Harry says, and he puts his wand on the table, and they leave. They don't say a word, until they arrive at the grave. Remus kneels down, and Harry is starting to feel really guilty, as if he is interrupting their moment. "I ehm, I should go back."

"No, come," Remus says, and Harry kneels down next to him. "I don't know if he can hear us, or if it's silly to speak to him. But last night, I told him that you know about us."

"Oh, right. Yes, I know," Harry says, looking at the stone, feeling slightly ridiculous. "I wish you would have told me. I wouldn't have minded. I'm happy for you, that you were happy, I mean," Harry says, and he touches the stone. A bolt of energy shoots through him, and he feels a bit sick.

"Are you okay?"

"Mhm, probably just static," Harry lies. "I ehm, I'm going to go back now."

"Don't worry, Harry. It happened to me too, the first time I touched it. I don't know what it is, maybe there is something magical about this place. Maybe he really takes the flowers, hears us, sees us. Who knows?"

"But he's supposed to be dead."

"And he is. But maybe it isn't as simple as you're dead and then you're gone. You've heard about the Diamond of Belle, haven't you?"

"Of course, but it hasn't been seen in years."

"Fair enough, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist," Remus says, and Harry shrugs his shoulders. He has had to deal with so many life and death situations, that he isn't sure what to think about life or death anymore. It all confuses him. Especially with the war, and knowing what he'll have to go through before he can finally rest. "So relax, and talk to him. I'll be just over there," Remus says, and he gets up, and leaves Harry alone. Harry feels uncomfortable at first, but then he takes a deep breath, and he starts talking to Sirius about all of his fears about the war, about Voldemort, about the future, about dying. But then a wind appears, but it isn't a normal wind, and Harry really wishes he had brought his wand. And where is Lupin? Harry is about to get up and run, when a book appears in front of him, and the wind lies down. Harry picks up the book, and opens it. In it are all kinds of notes and scribbles about Hogwarts, about Sirius, about Remus, about his parents. And there are moving photos in there as well, of them when they were younger, but also when they were adults. On the last page is a note, and it brings tears to Harry's eyes when he sees it.

 _Remember what you are fighting for. Think about your family. Think about your friends. Think about how much you love them. Don't ever forget that. Love, mum, dad and Sirius._

"I won't. I won't forget, I promise," Harry says, and he gets up, and starts to leave. Remus appears from behind a tree, and when he sees the tears in Harry's eyes, he quickly gives him a hug.

"Are you okay to go back alone?" he eventually asks, and Harry nods. He starts leaving for the cabin, but turns around, and sees Remus sitting by the grave, crying. Harry clutches to the book, and goes to the cabin, feeling much better now. He had felt so lost, so abandoned by everyone, because everyone had died. He had hated himself for feeling that way, because how could he blame them? But now he knows that they're still with him. They always will be. And they will be helping him through the war. And so will his friends.

Remus and Tonks have just gotten married, and as a surprise, some of their other friends had turned up. There is now a party in the woods, around a campfire, and they are all dancing, while music is being made by the instruments themselves. Tonks is dancing with Molly, and Harry can see Remus staring at his hand. He joins him, and sees that he is looking down at his new wedding ring.

"See," Remus says, as he takes it off. It glows white, then a sweet pink. "I truly love her."

"I know," Harry says, as Remus puts his ring back on, which glows white and pink again. "What about your other wedding ring?" he asks, and Remus pats the inside pocket of his jacket. "So, are you happy?"  
"Couldn't be happier," Remus says, but Harry can still see the sadness in his eyes. He wants to ask him more, but Tonks comes over, with a package in her hands.

"This was brought for you," she says, and she hands it over to her husband. "Just for you, so I thought I'd deliver it."

"Ah, should I open it now? Who brought it?" Remus asks, as his wife sits down next to him.

"An owl delivered it just now, I didn't know it. Go on, open it."

"Alright," Remus says, and he carefully opens the package, only to find the most beautiful dark blue diamond, filled with stars, in it. "The Diamond of Belle…"

"Wow, that is incredibly rare. You must have some high friends somewhere," Tonks laughs.

"But, I can't use it," Remus says, and his wife grabs his hand. Harry feels a bit out of place, but he's too curious to leave. "You know who would show up for me."

"Use it, Remus. Go on. It's fine, honestly."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Tonks says, a smile on her face, and she gives him a kiss. "Go on," she repeats, and Remus takes the diamond out of the package, throws it up in the air, and it disappears.

"There he is," Harry says, and he points over to the other side of the woods. His godfather is standing there, looking better than ever, and all Harry wants to do is go over to him. But he knows how the Diamond of Belle works, and he can't ruin it for Remus. The Diamond brings back your most loved one who has passed away, for one hour. One hour only, and only one person can speak to, or touch them. If any other person speaks to, or touches them, they will have the hour, and no one else can speak to, or touch the loved one anymore. The Diamond disappears as soon as you use it, and no one knows where it will show up. So it is a truly rare gift.

Remus gets up, and goes over to Sirius. Harry feels bad for Remus' new wife, but when he looks at her, and sees the proud smile on her face, he can't help but smile.

"It was you, wasn't it? That was what the owl brought a couple of days ago. You got him the diamond, so he could see Sirius one more time."

"Maybe…"

"Why?"

"Because it's what he wants most."

"And you're okay with that?" Harry asks, and Tonks nods. "Wow."

"I love him."

Remus stands still before Sirius, because he is too scared to touch him, or even speak to him. But then Sirius wraps his arms around him, and the tears start falling down Remus' eyes.

"I miss you so much."

"I miss you too," Sirius says, as he lets go of him. He grabs his hand, and leads him to a place away from the party, where no one can see or hear them. They sit down on a log, and Remus grabs Sirius' hand.

"So, you've married my cousin, huh?" Sirius asks, trying to lighten the mood. Remus looks up, a guilty look on his face. "I am happy for you. Both of you."

"Truly?"

"Truly. Remus, when I said that you should move on, I meant it. There's no point in dwelling in your sadness. Live life, be happy. I'm not saying that you should forget about me, but, you know," Sirius says, and Remus can't help but laugh.

"As if I ever could. Sirius, my ring…"

"I know, mine glows the same colour."

"And the flowers?" Remus asks, and Sirius flashes a smile.

"I love them. I'm there, every night. I'm glad Harry knows. He's a good boy. And I'm glad that you're looking after him. Tell him I'm proud of him. But Remus, you have got to stop coming to the stone every night. Be with your wife."

"But I love you."

"And I know that, and I know that you will always love me, even if you don't visit the grave. Even if you marry my cousin, even if you become a dad. That doesn't mean that you've stopped loving me. I want you to do those things," Sirius says, and he puts his hand on the side of Remus' face. "And I promise that I will always be with you, and I will always be looking after you."

"You better be," Remus laughs, and he kisses Sirius. They don't stop kissing for a long time, but when they do, Remus checks his watch. "Twenty minutes gone already."

"Come on, let's go," Sirius says, and he gets up and sticks out his hand. Remus has a questioning look on his face, but gets up as well, and grabs his hand. Sirius starts running, leading Remus back to the lake by the cabin. There he starts getting out of his clothes, and he jumps in.

"Get in," he laughs, and Remus does the same, and jumps in as well. Sirius swims up to him, and wraps his arms around him.

"I don't want you to leave," Remus whispers, as he looks Sirius straight into the eyes.

"Me neither," Sirius says, and that's it. They start kissing, and before they know it, one thing leads to another.

"Two minutes to go," Remus says, as he and Sirius are sitting by the lake. They have just gotten back into their clothes, but they are still soaking wet, because they had no towels.

"I'm glad that we still got this," Sirius says, and he grabs Remus' hand. "Tell Tonks I said thanks."

"What, she did this?"

"She did. She's okay with you still loving me, you know? Like I said, go live life with her, Remus."

"I will," Remus says, and he gives Sirius another kiss.

"I will never stop loving you," Sirius says, and that's when he disappears. Remus feels tears stinging in his eyes, and he gets up, and starts walking back to the party, where he finds his wife waiting for him. When she sees him, crying, she wraps her arms around him, even though the water will ruin her wedding dress.

"Thank you," Remus whispers, as he pulls her closer. "Thank you."

"That's what you do when you love someone," Tonks whispers, and she faces him and gives him a kiss.

"I do, I love you. I truly do. I just, I cannot stop loving him. I'm sorry."

"I know. That's okay. I don't mind. Honestly."

"Thank you."

That night, when all of the guests have left, and Remus is in bed with his new wife, he finally feels content. He would always sneak out, after she had fallen asleep, but right now, even though she is asleep, he doesn't want to go anywhere. He doesn't feel guilty towards Sirius anymore, but he also doesn't feel guilty towards Tonks anymore. He feels okay. He can love them both. And even now he is living his new life, with his new wife, he knows that Sirius will always be a part of his life. Even if he doesn't visit his grave every night. He'll never be gone. Not really.


End file.
